Mood:  don't ask
"Commence Operation....Vacu-suck!" (Colonel Sanders in Spaceballs). As you all know i gave the white millennium a daddy, now known as (drum roll) badabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabadabada!
THE BLACK MILLENIUM II. As we all have mourned and grieved over the loss of the original Black millennium, this is my way to pay remembrance in honor of a car, a boy, and his dreams. Begin 50's shopping music. Introducing the Nissan Titan. Say hello....I said SAY HELLO. BLACK MILLENIUM II"Sup, nice to meet you". Well, Black millennium II do you mind showing us what you got. Black millennium -"Ooooooohhhhhh ya, chick chicka-chick-ka". Well? "Well what?" Get off your ferris bueller music and show yourself off. "Ummmmmm K. To start and this is Kevin's favorite.....AIR CONDITIONING!!!!" Yeaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. "Shut up, beeotch." Alright, go on. "I have a fosgate stereo system with 8 speakers and a . Comfy seats. doors to get to the comfy seats in the back. I also gots the trailer package soos now I can tow 4 tons, but what the hell does Kevin own or will ever own that is 4 tons" Ummm howsa aboot shuting the hell up Black millennium II. "Oh so now you want me to shut up, don't make me he bitch man slap you". Continue on then. BLACK millennium "You know I demand a little respect, I am not here for your enjoyment, I am not some 2 bit whore to show off...peace I'm outta here--Knibb High football rules!" (Vrrrrrroooooooooooooooooom, "screw you for judging meeeeeeeeeeeeee") Ohhhhhh, don't get all pissy. Damn now how am i going to get home? Taraaaaaaaaaaaa!

Well, in the meantime. Been a while since i updated this bloggy blog so lets see if i have anything to say. Oh update on the PM5K (pimp master 5000). So Alissa walks in his room to find him playing with the chick power ranger and a strawberry shortcake doll. Shortcake aint wearin any clothes. So Alissa asks "what are you doin?" PM5K says "nothing". Alissa "its okay just tell me". This fool says "They were just hugging mommy" So two things to think about. How does he know at such a young age (nooooooo, its not cause of his uncle) and two, how the hell did he come up with such a great lie so fast (I know id be like ummmmmmmmmmm....damn, you got me).

Went out with Jen a few nights ago to see the aviator. Good film. I dont care what people say, I like DiCaprio (Thinking out loud). So before the movie we went to dinner and we were introduced to a place called Chevy's. I dont think their tacos would fly in Mexico, but Jen will be the judge of that in a few days. So we get our plates and i am eating and then she says have you had this before pointing to some mound of yellow stuff. And I was like "eeeeeewwwwwwwwww" Jen's like "its corn cake, its good". So I say " i dunnoooooo, somethings peeking" So she leaps out of her chair holds her knife to my throat and says "EEEEAAAAAT IT!" (okay that last part entirely true...it was a fork) So i decide to try it. And i am eating it and eating it and then it dawns on me "This shit is corn bread!!!!" Jen says "No! Its corn cake", I say, "it taste like corn bread!!!!! Just in a watered down state" The point is aviator was a good movie 9 outta 10. We both agree that is however one half-hour too long though.

So it has also come to my attention, that there are those out there who have not seen movies before, And I am thinking of starting up some sort of movie day or night thing once a week where we can like rotate from different houses and we can watch a movie. Dunno its in its initial stage yet, But whose down for it? email or post it.

So lets see if i can leave you all with something funny...dirty but funny:

a man walks up to the same woman in the office each day stands very close to her draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.

after a week of this she cant stand it any longer and goes to personnel.

she tells them what the co-worker does and that she want to file a sexual harassment suit gainst him

the personnel manager is puzzled by this approach
and asks "Whats so sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you ur hair smells nice"
the woman replies" ITS BOB THE MIDGET"

Until next time kiddies,
Corn Cake eating Kevin

P.S. I still need a ride home tara

Mood:  don't ask
Okay Okay Okay (Leo Getz - That one is for you Jen). Well, today I am goin to talk about the man, aka pimpmaster 5000, aka Cristian. This guy may be only 5 but he is also one of my best buds. But enough about that. Cristian has got like the entire female student body jocking him. I know from first hand experience. He shared me for show and tell the other day and he was like Professor Jones in Radiers of The Lost Ark. All the girls are enamored by his very presence. He was saying things like "this is my Uncle Kevin and we go to movies, play videogames, and watch football together" And I smile because I am honered to be shared by him...Ah hem, for those who do not habla pimp, this basically means I am his beeotch. Which is true. He has a new girlfriend (but dont call her that), her name is Haylen. I asked him if she is pretty, and he says "sometimes she is and sometimes she isnt" After laughing my anus off and then putting it back together I was like "he a pimp". And ladies, stand back when he dances...Kevin Bacon aint got nothin on him. I played techno, heavy metal, and punk and this fool was all over the place doin the cabbage patch, the robot, and the box step....AT THE SAME TIME!!! Also, it is christmas time (not happy holiday time-to be discussed and ranted about later). Cristian gets like a bazillion gifts from the girls in his class and I say to him "what did you get them" he says "I got them nothing"...Sounds like a peeeeeimmmp. Later it was discovered he got everyone cards (so as not to play favorites). Back on to this Haylen girl. I went to both his art expo and his christmas recital(Which was freaking awesome) and Haylen is dressed to the 9s to impress him so when we spoke to Haylen's mom she says that whenever she is going to see Cristian she says "do you think Cristian will like this" the mom replies "Honey, I dont think Cristian is goin to care" Peeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiimmmmmp!!! So Cristian, my man, cheers and thanks for making me smile.

Uncle K

P.S. New band to look out for is The Killers. I like em a lot. They sound like the 80's. Your thoughts?

P.P.S Matt Damon Crisis still unresolved.

P.S.P.S. New Movie to rent "Shattered Glass" - awesome awesome movie starring Cristian Haydenson, and he actually can act which goes to show that sometimes it aint the actor that is bad, its the director (GL). This movie gets an A--I promise you'll like it.



DA MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mood:  don't ask
Welcome one and all to my blog (Cue the theme song from Days of Thunder). Well, where to start. Ahhhhhh yes. Hello to all my friends, I hope all is well. This site is to feel you up (no pun intended) with social antics, raves, questions, and mind stimulating whoozywhatits. Please feel free to comment (I wont mind, cause I get to moderate...suckaaaaaaaas). I saw Ocean's 12! Tara and I had a deep discussion about it and the only thing I cant fathom is what happened to Jason Bourne....Since when was Matt Damon a pussy in Ocean's 11. I don't recall he ever was... I watch it everytime its on the tele and he never was like hmmm how can I be a panzy. I'll tell you why...because he wasn't...he was mr. joe cool when he pocketed the access code. Eh, any way. after the movie, Andy and I went to the bathroom and there was another guy at the urinal. Well, I start doin my thing and all of a sudden my superb ("superb"- Empire Records) aural senses come in to play and there is music goin on in the background. This music was like racing music. You know ba da ta da ba ta ta da da ba ta da ba ta da da rhen den den den. So I say to andy who is handling his biz...."this music is perfect for what I am doin right now". We bust up laughing, the guy next me quietly leaves and Andy and I have a pee race (who can finish first) and we're pushing eachother to mess the other one up. Ho man, well the moral of the story was I won. So keep your ears open my kiddies...you never know what fun can come from it.

P.S. Entertainment Weekly gave Ocean's 12 a D+ ( I disagree, it was funny...or maybe it got the D+ because of Matt Damon's being a tard...Your thoughts on this crisis)